From Kay Iscah:
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I had problems with the book.
Not so much that it was worse than the other books out there, but that it shared many of the problems that had been glaring in the other books.

Anyway, I wrote a summary to sum up my feelings on Vector Prime, enjoy:

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Leia: Hi, I get to start the book. I'm trying to have well balanced thoughts about my daughter Jaina. She and Mara are bonding, and that makes me happy and jealous. I'll be sure to tell someone my feelings later.

Jaina: I can't wait to show everyone how good a pilot I am.

Leia: Oh, by the way, Mara's deathly ill.

Reader: Huh?! Poor Mara, poor Luke...

Mara: Yes, I'm deathly ill. But despite the fact I've been a part of this family for a good six years now, I don't want anyone to help me. That'll make me still look independant and strong to the readers. Hopefully the doctors on Coruscant will figure something out while disecting the other survivor which will cure me.

Rest of family: Despite the fact we are concerned for Mara, none of us will question the logic of her wish to keep the disease a private matter.

Threepio: Hello, I'm always useful for plot exposition and translation. I've shown myself many times a valuable ally, but everyone still gets annoyed with me.
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Wurth Skidder: I'm a hotshot Jedi, who exemplifies Luke's problems. There's only a hundred Jedi in the galaxy, but don't let the fact you've never heard of me bother you. I'm not going to turn into a character or anything. In fact you'll never see me again.

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Mara: Nom Anor is weird.

Leia: Despite my years of diplomatic training and dealing with jerks, I will give up after one interview and a few smart alec sentences from a man who clearly does not represent the entire planet.

Nom Anor: I'm a bad guy. I accomplished nothing, but I frightened their droid, so I'm happy.

Jaina: Nom Anor is weird.

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Borsk Fey'lya: Despite the fact I have repeatedly shown the New Republic government how untrust worthy I am, I have been elected Cheif of State.

Luke: I have lost almost all respect for government now.

Jacen: Despite the fact I was light hearted and likable in the Young Jedi Knights books which took place less than a year ago, I am now angsty and philosophical. I've developed philosophies about the Force which conveniently contradict my brother's completely. Oh, and even though I was raised by the New Republic's Chief of State and have been exposed to politics enough I should understand their purpose, I think Jedi are above the law and don't understand why my uncle would keep the council updated despite the fact they finance all the Jedi's activities.

Anakin: I'm fifteen and they gave me a lightsaber...look out! Despite the fact my character has always been a gentle, wise, and highly gifted introvert, I long for glory and adventure, and view the Force as a weapon.

Jacen: Anakin, you are wrong. I think the Force is an instrument of inner enlightenment, so I'm going to try to whip you in a duel so you'll see things my way.

Anakin: Get over yourself!!! (They fight.)

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Danni: Hi, I'm going to be an important character. I think...

Other scientists: Hi, we're going to get developed just enough you feel bad when we die.

Yomin Carr: I like to kill things. I'm very religous. Our gods like living things, so we mutilate ourselves and other organisms and hate droids.

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The Vong: We are an extragalactic race that thrives on conflict. We have no sense of art, music, or individual thought. We have the power to destroy planets, and our unlikely technology is based around gravity wells made by living organisms.

Editor: Um, wait, isn't this just another version of a superweapon? And why are they extra-galactic when we haven't even explored the plot Zahn left for us about the unknown regions?

Author: Well, it's organic, and the extra-galactic part makes them flashy enough, no one will notice it's just another super weapon.

The Galaxy: Come on, give me a break...How many planets can I loose in a 25 year period?

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Anakin: (flies the Falcon recklessly to symbolize his adventure and excitement phase.)

Han: Mutters a stream of curses. What the heck are you doing to my ship?! Help, Chewie fix it.

Anakin: Despite the fact that once upon a time I had an uncanny ability to make machines work with the Force, the Falcon's circutry is far too screwed up for me to deal with.

Chewie: Arooounee, oof arf arf rooo.
Translation: Don't insult my ship or I'll put teeth marks in your lightsaber.

Han: Teenagers are a pain. Mutters stream of curses.

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Nom Anor: Yay! I started a war! Off to start another one.

Reader: If this guy is always using the same name, why hasn't New Republic Intelligence picked him up yet?

Author: Give me a break, I've only read the Thrawn trilogy, and plot summaries of the other books.

Reader: Yeah, I noticed.

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Danni: I got kidnapped, everyone else is dead, these people are gross.

Da'Gara: Danni's a babe, maybe if I make her feel helpless and call her worthy, she'll start to dig me and join us.

Danni: You're a jerk. I'm just gonna sit quietly, and try to learn your secrets until I get rescued.

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Solo family decides to visit Lando.

Leia: Despite the fact for the last 15 years, I've been gladdened by your visits and you've helped us out of several jams, I no longer like you associating with my husband. By the way, where's (your girlfiend) Tendra?

Lando: (shruggs) Wish I knew. My character had progress to what looked like a more steady life, but I feel like I've been reset to Episode V. Oh, but I've got a really fun game I made up to test an impractical military technology.

The story pauses while the Solo kids take turns making a run in an asteroid field, strangely called Lando's Folley.

Jaina: See, I'm the best pilot.

Family: Ooo, Jaina's a really good pilot.

Han and Chewie: We've been goaded into showing you kids that adults and non-Jedi can fly too.

Solo kids: (watch mouths dropped as their father demonstrates for the 1000th time that he is a good pilot.)

Reader: Can we get back to the plot?

Luke: No, wait! I'm finally getting to show some affection for my wife. If we keep going, she might say "I love you".

Author: Sorry, Lukie boy, I've got to cause an angst filled moment.

For no reason, the shields go out and the equipment fails to work. Han and Chewie are put in great danger which they over come with skill. Everyone gets mad at Lando for the equipment failure.

Lando: It's not my fault! Blame the author!

Han: (mutters stream of curses) Well, we've had our brush with death for this book, maybe things will calm down now.

Kyp: Hi gang. You beat my score, that hurts my pride. I've been very proud lately. My hotshot squadron and I are gonna go save the galaxy from smugglers.

Jacen: But some smugglers were helpful once, we should ignore their disregard for the law.

Kyp: You're a weird kid. (He and his squadron blast off with a corny fanfare.)

Anakin: Cool.
Jacen: Sigh.
Jaina: Where's that music coming from???

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All Kyp's pilot's are quickly destroyed, and Kyp is left floating in space.

Kyp: Um, help?

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Miko: Hi, Danni, I'm likable. My name is Miko, and I'm here to rescue you.

Danni: No you're not.

Miko: I'm not?

Danni: Nope, you're Jedi skills are next to useless, so your gonna get sacrificed to the yammosk, to show how big and bad the Vong are.

Miko: (sniffs) Gee, that stinks. Can I at least die heroically?

Danni: yeah, sure.

Da'Gara: heh, Danni's a babe. I hope she likes the pet Jedi I gave her.

Danni: You are so ugly....

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Lando: Do me a favor, Han?

Han: No.

Lando: Please?

Han: Okay.

Lando: Deliver this cargo. Despite the wealth I could acculumlate through perfectly legitamate means, I like doing things illegally.

Han: Just shut up, and I'll take Anakin and Chewie with me.

Distress call comes.

Luke: Mara and I are gonna go check it out. I know she's sick, but the readers got annoyed that Han and Leia never went on adventures together, so...

Mara: I'm permanently glued to him.

Luke: Can we attempt affectionate banter?

Author: I can't do dialogue!

Mara: Sigh. I don't talk much in this book, do I?

Luke and Mara discover a the dead planet and scientist.

Luke: Something bad happened here.

Mara: Yup. It makes me feel sick.

Luke: It is depressing isn't it?

Mara: I was being literal.

R2: WWWHHHHUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
Translation: I'm being attacked.

Mara and Luke save R2. Yomin dies, but he gets to show off his snake staff first so he's happy.

Luke: I couldn't read his mind....that made fighting him hard.

Mara: Couldn't you have pulled the staff from his hands with telekinesis?

Luke: Good point...for some reason I completely forgot I had that power.

Author: Oh, I forgot to tell you. You can't use telekinesis in this book. I have to make the Vong look hard to beat.

Luke: Good grief, well, let's make an inneffectual pass by that planet where the comet went. It looks important.

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Han, Chewie, and Anakin land without noticing the moon is incredibly close to the planet.

Native: The moon is falling!

Han, Chewie, and Anakin look up.

Han: Sure is.

Anakin: Must be nasty at the coastal towns.

Han: Yup. Hey instead of trying to find the source, let's take a look at a coastal town.

Some natives sneak on board in hopes of escaping death. Han, Chewie, and Anakin waste time kicking them off the ship.

Han: Hm, the natives are in trouble. They should leave.

Natives: We never thought of that! Good plan.....Oops, we're low on ships. Too bad we didn't think of leaving earlier when we knew the moon was falling, and the hyperspace capable ships could have started dropping groups off at a nearby planet and saved more people. Oh well....

Anakin: Maybe I can find an off switch.

He and the native leader go and look for the source. Han and Chewie cram natives onto their ship. Anakin finds the source.

Anakin: Well, shooting at it doesn't work.

Source recognizes Anakin's unnsuccessful attack and buries deeper into the doomed planet.

Anakin: Neat, it reversed it's gravitational pull...shouldn't that start pushing the moon back up?

Native leader: Maybe, but I've got a bomb...Stand back!

Han and Chewie swoop down in the Falcon and pick up Anakin. Native leader blows himself and the source up.

Han, Chewie, and Anakin: That was heroic. Pointless, but heroic.

They stuff more natives onto the Falcon. The moon starts to crash. Chewie saves an unconscious Anakin just barely. Anakin wakes up just in time to save lives of himself, his Father, and many natives. Chewie dies.

Reader: Wait a sec! Why'd you do that?

Author: Angst! Angst is what motivates plot.

Reader: I don't care about angst, bring back Chewie.

Chewie: Arrrrrummp, aauuunnnnhhh mrr mrr hoorrump.
Translation: I'm not really dead.

Author: Yes you are. Now, back to the angst.

Han: You killed Chewie.

Anakin: But....

Han: Mutters stream of curses. You're a bad kid.

Author: But Anakin is also heart broken by the loss.

Anakin makes a sad face.

Reader: Jerk.

Han: Hey, I'm heartbroken.

Reader: Not you, the author. Bad enough he offed Chewie, but now he's got to torment a fifteen year old, geez...

Kyp: Hey remember me?

Han: What are you doing out here?

Kyp: Praying, we've got an author who seems to like bumping off characters, and I'm not nearly as likable as Chewie.

The Vong chase them back to Lando's place.

Lando: Next time I'll just invite Angela Lansbury to a dinner party....It's safer than having you guys around.

The Solo kids: we're big now and wanna fight.

Han and Leia: No.

The Solos kids go fight anyway, and nearly get killed.

Han and Leia: Wow, Jaina can really fly. Let's go pick up Anakin.

Author: As parents they are very concerned for their children, but they must learn to accept their teenagers are Jedi now.

Star Destroyer comes and saves the day.

Star Destroyer Captain: Despite the fact I have never seen this technology before, the people who know the situation say wait, and I should have more respect for a former Chief of State and a Jedi Master, I will recklessly follow the enemies to their base, and get killed.

Luke: But we've got a plan.

Author: Yup, you and Mara are gonna investigate the enemy.

Mara: But I'm dying!

Author: Well, yeah, but if Luke doesn't go then.....ooo, another angst oportunity!

Jacen and Jaina: We're going to recklessly sneak off, and check out the enemy base.

Star Destroyer gets destroyed.

Jaina: I'm a really good pilot. Too bad I don't have a better ship.

Leia: We forgot Jacen.

Luke: We have to go back then...

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Jacen sneaks onto enemy grounds, kills some people, Miko gets to die heroically, and Jacen and Danni escape.

They squeeze into a one man ship. Jacen is very aware of their near lack of clothes.

Danni: We could've left the cloakers on.

Jacen: But they're icky....and heck I'm a sixteen year old boy.

Reader: You've already got a girlfriend!!!

Jacen: (shushes reader) Don't tell Tenel.

Danni: I'm sad because Miko died.

Jacen: Don't worry Danni. You could be a great Jedi!

Danni: Huh?

---------------------

Da'Gara: Where'd the babe go?

--------------------

They pick up Jacen's ship and run away.

Leia: We need a plan.

Luke and Anakin come up with a plan.

Mara: I'm really tired can I got back to the base?

Author: Nope, you've got to look strong and self-sacrificing.

Lando happens to have the right ships hanging around, so they go back and give the yammosk brain freeze. The Vong scatter. R2 gets the hiccups.

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Nom Anor: hm...my plan failed completely, but I will continue to cause trouble. Because (evil laugh) I am the villian that got away.

Reader offers an ancient Profic curse: May you vanish into obscurity like Roganda Ismaren. (who?)

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Mara: I'm gonna go to Dagobah to deal with my illness alone.

Luke: Can I come?

Mara: I said alone.

Luke: I'm never going to get to have sex again am I?

Mara: (eyes widen) We're allowed to have sex?!

----------------------

Han: I've forgiven Anakin....sort of. Now he's just self asorbed instead of a murderer.

Leia: That's nice dear. By the way, Stackpole's going to be writing the next book about us.

And suddenly to the reader, the galaxy seemed a more dangerous place by far....


The End,
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